my name is lorri and i'm a micromanager

I like making sure everything in my little world is running along tickety-boo. It's always been important for me to check and double check that all the i's be dotted and t's crossed-just so. In some ways, it's a good thing; bills get paid on time, reservations are made with precision, we never show up at the border when it's closed, contracts are signed and initialled in all the right spots, and dentist, doctor and optomitrist appointments are made right on schedule. I am the master of making phone calls and double checking EVERYTHING!

When our family was growing up I had a huge color coded calendar on the wall with everyone's schedule and activities neatly recorded. My favorite time of the week was our family "Calendaring Meeting" held every Sunday night before bed. Knowing everybody's business is my thing...and I'm pretty good at taking care of things!

My husband says I've ruined my children (who are now all adults) because I managed everything so well for so long, they started to depend on me to take care of their "stuff".

In my defense, I did send each child out into the world with their very own portable file holder containing all the important papers regarding banking, credit cards, cell phones, etc. I made sure they each had a birth certificate, SIN card, health care card, and all those other little important bits you need to make your way through life.

I have a secure PIN keeper on my I-phone that I keeps all the important numbers and information that I need...and all the numbers that each family member might need at some point in life. I've just not been able to let go of their personal information. What if something happened and they needed a number and couldn't find it? I have it on my PIN keeper! and I could SAVE THE DAY!

For the last few years as my nest has emptied, I have been validated by the occasional call from my grown up kids. "Hey Mom, could you tell me my ED ID number? I need it to apply for a scholarship." "Hey Mom, I'm at the doctor's and I don't have my health care number. Could you text it to me?" "Hi Mom, I'm applying for a job and I need my SIN...have you got it with you?" I've also been the go-to girl for bank accounts and credit cards, with all those nasty little PIN numbers for every account, neatly stowed in my secure PIN keeper. "Hey Mom, I'm at the store and I forget the PIN for my new chip card. Have you got it?" Hi Mom, what's the PIN for that savings account I never use?"

Last week while I was "on vacation" I learned that I may have, indeed, ruined my children.

Three mornings in a row, my trusty I-phone pinged in my ear between 4:30 and 5am with a frantic message from one kid or another. "Health care number, STAT!" "Mom I can't sign my contract for summer employment without my SIN number-HELP!" "Do you know the account number for my bank back in Alberta?"

Groggy and disoriented I replied, " Do you know that it's only 5 am in Hawaii? It's still DARK outside! Don't you have that information somewhere?"

Each time the response went something like this: "Sure I could find it, Mom, if I looked for it-but I knew you would have it so I just thought I'd call. How's your holiday?"

I decided to turn my phone off and vacation properly for the remianing 5 or 6 days. The lesson was finally driven home on my second to last day at the beach when I got a mid day text from my sister back home.

"Please come home. Your kids keep phoning me

when you don't answer their calls.

I am tired of your vacation.

Please... Come... Home..."