with apologies to shabby chic pinners...sort of

I have never quite figured out the "shabby chic" decorating thing. You see I grew up on a farm where most everything was shabby and chic did not ever enter into it. Tools were tools. Junk was junk and stuff in the yard never made it's way into the house unless someone left a door open and a chicken wandered in.

So as I scroll through pinterest, I am often simply dumb-founded by some of the things that are so popular among those crafty, full time mother/bloggers who must just lay around all day dreaming up NEW ways to recycle crap.

Burlap is one of those things I just can't wrap my head around.   sorry?

My experience with burlap has been limited to potaotes, wheat and occasionally corn-on-the-cob (10 dozen per sack). Burlap is itchy and smelly and it gives the nastiest slivers I've ever had to deal with. Imagine my surprise when I started seeing burlap on pinterest as table runners, place mats, bed skirts and curtains!   seriously?!?

Last weekend my daughter, Angela was shopping in a very trendy uptown Christmas boutique looking for a special gift for a friend. As she was checking out, she couldn't help but notice the burlap christmas stockings hanging by the till. Besides the fact that they were made from old potato sacks, she was a little more than shocked to see the price...a cool 60 bucks per sock!

She paused and then asked the particularly artsy, hipster chick manning the till, "Are these burlap stockings very popular this year? I've seen them all over "pinterest".

"Oh yes!", she replied with enthusiasm. "We can't keep them in stock. Everyone wants one. If you want some you should BUY THEM TODAY. We will definitely not have them after this weekend."

"Well...I've already got my stocking up but I was looking for something to keep my potatoes and onions in," she dead-panned.

Without so much as a grin, the girl packaged up Angela's item and with an unimpressed scowl, the shop gal replied, "Will that be all, Ma'am?"

"...way to go Angie. You're a girl after my own heart!"

Dang you, "find friends"

Wally and I have been planning to go to San Diego for a medical conference for months. It was a pretty simple plan; we blocked off ten days in the office, booked the trip and let everyone know we would be "out of town" for a few days the first week of November. 

We were really looking forward to the break. It's been a hectic year and going away for a few days was the carrot on the end of the proverbial stick. We could manage hectic knowing that we had a little "holiday" to look forward to.

The day of our departure arrived and not any too soon. I was completely burned out and ready for a break. The plan was to stay a couple days in Vancouver, BC for the Canadian ADD meeting and then off to our sunny destination for a few more days.

Everything was working out ust fine. Grayson and Diana assured us they could hold down the fort for a few days and I packed bathing suits and shorts in addition to my boots, jacket and umbrella for the stop in Vancouver. (and it RAINED the whole time we were in Vancouver!)

Sunday afternoon arrived and we repacked and called a cab to drive us to YVR from our lovely seaside downtown Marriot hotel. Sun and fun were just a few hours and one plane ride away.

This is the first thing we saw when we got to YVR! It was a beautiful Hawaiian display in the flower shop and I swear they were pumping the aroma of the islands out of the speaker that was playing sweet Hawaian music. There was nothing else to do....

I was relaxing poolside Monday morning when I got a text message from my son, "How's California?...or should I say, how did your phone get to the HILTON HAWAIIAN VILLAGE?"

"Oh no!" I thought. "I am so busted by the stupid find friends app." But this is what I texted back..."Oh no, my phone's been stolen!"

It was only a matter of time before the entire family of "friends" had discovered my location. Throughout the day I would get incredulous little messages...

"HAWAII???" (from Katie)

"You should turn off your phone if you want to sneak away..." (from Sara)

"I can't believe you went to Hawaii and didn't tell / take me!" (from Diana)

and from my son-in-law, Dylan "You guys went to Hawaii? AWESOME!"

And AWESOME it is. 

the view from my balcony...

"See you next week, Friends!"

...true story

It's been fun having Logan (and his parents) stay at our house. Grayson is working hard to get his new office set up and running. Diana is managing the move and being temporarily  homeless with stellar resiliance. Logan is just a charmer; content and smiling and perfect for me to "show off" to the neighbors.

As we've settled into this little arrangement, the household chores have been completed with everyone pitching in...or so we thought.

The other day as Diana and I were unloading the clean dishes, she noticed one of Logan's little baby spoons in the dishwasher. Now she and I had decided that those spoons should NOT go in the dishwasher, for a variety of good reasons. We thought that rule was understood by everyone in the house.

"Grayson" she scolded, " I told you not to put Logan's little spoons int he dishwasher!"

Grayson smiled and firmly responded, "Diana, I can't get in trouble for that! I have not put ONE ITEM in that dishwasher since we moved in; so there!"

As soon as he said it, in front of all those witnesses, he realized his folly. He jumped up from his chair and promptly started clearing the table; quietly helping Wally load the dinner dishes...while Diana and I tried not to laugh right out loud.

Thanks for the hand, Gray! 

I am not an athlete...revisited

A couple of years ago Wally bought a book called, Younger Next Year. It's a book written by an old dude and his younger doctor on how to age gracefully. Basically, the book says that as we age we MUST keep moving or our bodies simply decline before our time. Thus began Wally's quest for movement.

He was so inspired by the book that he insisted I join him in his quest and bought me the PINK version; Younger Next Year for Women.

It's been all fun and games since then as Wally and I try our hands at different kinds of activities. I've enjoyed my treadmill and even had not bad luck with the bowflex and yoga classes. But I have come to realize that even though my husband is very athletic, and I have given birth to five athletic children who in turn, have married athletes; I simply CANNOT keep up -  or at the very least "UPRIGHT".

You will recall my adventures with winter sports over the last 18 months or so. First the nasty fall on the cross country skis. Then came falling off the trail, and subsequently halfway down the mountainside, while snow shoeing in the pristine wilderness of  Kananaskis country. I lived to laugh and tell the story but it was less funny in the moment.

Two springs ago Wally and I bought kayaks. Of course we bought sturdy, flat bottomed, lake kayaks to enjoy some stress free paddling on Emerald Bay in Wateron Lakes National Park. That went really well until I tipped my boat just below the Prince of Wales Hotel as I was trying to get back in. Cold, wet but undeterred, I commited to continue to TRY to keep up with Wally.

I have done the best I can. I walk on my treadmill regularly and I try to keep active during the day at work; taking the stairs and strolling downtown at lunchtime. 

When Wally wanted to try cross-trail bikes, I joined in. I was sized and set up on a beautiful SPECIALIZED (that's the brand name) cross trail bike designed for light road biking and the occasional rougher trail / terrain. 

I really like riding my bike. It's been fun to go on a bike ride after work and I even use it to go get the mail or buy food at the grocery store up town. I can be seen peddaling around town late at night with my nieces to use up extra energy.

So when Wally suggested we try something a little more challenging, I was up for it! After all, I can ride a bike. I couldn't see any problems with going bike riding.

I'm sure you know where this is going. 

We loaded up the bikes on the back of Patty the Pathfinder and headed to Waterton. It was a beautiful sunny day and the trail we'd decided to try was one I am familiar with. The "Snow Shoe trail" up in the Red Rock Canyon is a trail I've hiked a few times. Everytime I have hiked it, I always stepped aside for those folks riding by on their bikes. It's not steep, it is well used and I knew I could manage the trip. And Wally assured me that we could ride faster than any bear could run. (I'm a little afraid of being eaten by a bear but I manage)

The ride was really great. I was enjoying the wilderness and my skills were complemented by my trail appropriate bike. I thought to myself, "This is fun and I can even keep up with Wally."

I actually sped past him once on a little climb, feeling very athletic indeed.

We stopped for a drink and a granola bar about 5 km in and I reported that I was really enjoying myself. I felt good and I was glad we'd chosen to come out today. Shoud we carry on? or turn back? 

We decided to go all the way in, which is about 8 km. I knew we could and jumped on my bike entusiastically. I was so rocking that whole "younger next year" theory. "I am old, active and strong." I thought to myself as I peddled on with glee.

As we came around the next bend I saw another dry creek bed. We had peddled through three already and each time I had felt a little unstable going over the rocks. I'd made it thus far unscathed but determined that I was getting a little tired and maybe it would be smart to walk my bike through the rocks.

I slowed down and watched Wally peddle through and then decided I really would get off and walk...no point in taking unnecessary risks at my age.

I remember stopping my bike at about the same time I started to call out to Wally, "I'm going to walk through..." Then my whole world simply tipped right upside down!!

I felt my left arm, then my hip and finally my head hit the ground. I actually heard my helmet  "klunk" and then I just laid there.

"What the heck happened?!" was the only thought that came to mind. I hadn't even been  peddling and now I was flat on my back in the middle of a pile of rocks and YES; there was PAIN associated with this.

So I can now add "falling while cycling" to my repertoire of athetic mishaps.

this is the picture i took of wally

after i got my camera out from underneath 

me and my bike. (the camera was in my 

backpack which ended up on the bottom

of the pile) i wanted to make sure it still worked

this is me...upright again and still smiling;

but that is kind of a wincing smile because it 

REALLY hurt to fall in slow motion on a

pile of rocks!

It's a new day. The throbbing pain in my left arm has almost subsided. My hip and back are slowly working back into alignment and the pain in my neck will go away eventualy. The only thing that really bites about the whole story is that I don't bruise all that readily so in spite of the pain and the tenderness, I really don't have much physical eveidence to document my misadventures.

And I will "gear up and carry on". 

If I can't be "younger next year" I can at least provide consistent, predictable entertainment for my family and  friends. Have a happy day!

...and then there was mary kay

So I've been "friends on" with Christian and the girls for quite some time. There is no doubt about the quality of the dior line of mascara. But the price still ticks me off.

Earlier this summer, shortly after I used the food money for mascara, and right before another trip to Portland, my friend called and asked if I wanted to buy any Mary Kay. Now I was in a previous relatioship with Mary because my daughter was once a rep and I loved the cosmetics. I'd just gotten away from it when Diana no longer sold it.

( And remember that I'm not much into make up...haha )

So I ordered some things that I usually get and then I went out on a limb and decided to try some items that my friend suggested.

And it's so GOOD! I'm all over the new mascara and happier than ever with my wimpy lashes. 

I haven't abandoned Christian entirely but my new friend Mary leaves me a little bit of cash to buy food. It's a tough call but I'm prepared to make it. We'll just have to see how long these boots last...

Poor man's boots-revisited...

A few years ago my fashion conscious twenty something daughter introduced me to Christian Dior and his fantastic mascara. "Diorshow" had the potential to change my life. As an aging mom with thin hair and even thinner lashes "Diorshow" was nothing short of a miracle.

And even though it is horribly expensive, I rationalized that I "was worth it". (cue the Revlon commercial)  I even told my friends about it. I've never been one for make up but this mascara was something I used every day - and I loved it enough to buy it again and again as the tubes went dry.

Then my friend Christian invented something even BETTER! Diorshow Iconic - which was   better and lasted longer and made my lashes look like something out of a magazine. And even though it was a little more money, I persisted in purchasing the expensive mascara. After all, I have a good job, my kids are grown and I need to look good. So the ladies at the cosmetic counter got to know me better and knew if I stopped by I meant business and they always like someone who comes to buy. It was a beautiful relationship.

I maintained close contact with Christian and his girls over the years and my lashes loved the attention. Deep down I struggled with the cost but rationalized that great looking lashes really are "priceless". (cue the mastercard commercial)

Last spring I was perusing the newest issue of People one afternoon in the offce and I saw the most beautiful lashes ever!!! in an ad for L'oreal mascara. As soon as I saw those lashes, I knew I NEEDED that mascara. Besides, I told myself, it really is silly to pay a small fortune for something I wash off every night. Surely this new (less expensive) mascara would do the trick.

I asked around. No one really knew the new mascara but the ad was so gorgeous...I was fixated on finding the mascara. And then I found it one afternoon in the cosmetics section at Shopper's Drug Mart. Even the tube looked luxurious and I was excited to have the most beautiful lashes on the planet. 

Imagine my glee when I noticed the price - about one eighth the price of my pricey Diorshow and, if the ad was true, 100% more lashtastic than that other stuff. I also thought I was very smart to spend less on better mascara and then I would have money left over for other things. It was a plan. I bought the mascara and headed home to try it.

As I was driving, I thought of Dylan, my son-in-law the economist. He's a smart guy and enjoys sharing various economic theory with me. And as I drove, my excitement over my new purchase diminshed steadily as I recalled the economic theory entitled Poor Man's Boots.

Basically, Poor Man's Boots explains how the poor man will always end up paying more for boots. He will buy 4-5 pairs of $50 boots over the same period of time that the rich man will spend only $185 for one pair of good boots that may even last longer than all 5 pairs of the poor man's boots. In the long run, it makes more economic good sense to buy the better quality product in the first place because it really ends up costing less money. Plus, you get a better product.

By the time I got home, I was torn. Should I just take the package back unopened and get my money back? Was it worth the risk? Would it really be as good as the Dior mascara if it was so inexpensive? After a seven minute fight with myself, I dug out the People magazine and looked at the ad again. The lashes were still amazing and would L'oreal really spend that much on advertising a deficient product? I was going to give it a go... 

As I unwrapped the package, my heart sank. The tube was light and cheap feeling. It took all I had to muster up the enthusiasm to give it a try. I prepped my lashes and pulled out the brush. It was clumpy and gross. "How can this be happening?!?" my inner smart, confident self screamed. "I know better than to get sucked in by a great ad. I'm old with lot's of life experience and I know the theory of Poor Man's Boots." 

I can't express my disappointment. I tried the mascara over the next couple of days. It was AWFUL. I was so embarrassed for making such an obvious mistake, I couldn't even share my disappointment with anyone.

I headed back to my friends at the cosmetic counter. I plunked down a week's worth of grocery money for the Diorshow AND the Iconic, just to cover all my bases and set off to the ladies room to apply my tried and true expensive mascara.

eating humble pie

A few weeks ago Wally and I went out for dinner with friends. It was a fun evening and on the way home we stopped over at Mary's house to see her new deck and outdoor fireplace. It was a lovely evening and something we don't do very often.

As I was getting ready for bed, I started to wander around the house looking for my iphone. I use my iphone as my alarm clock and it is usually on my desk in the office, by the phone in the kitchen or in my purse...which is usually on the bench by the front door. (PS: I love my iphone and use it extensively.)

About the same time I realized that I could not find my phone, it became apparent that I could not find my purse! And that never happens in my world because I never "can't find" anything.

The internet meme that was circulating through pinterest and face book a few months back was invented because of mothers like me.

It's not really lost unless

your mother can't find it!

I AM THAT MOM. And this situation was quietly spinning out of my control. Not only could I not find my purse; I was going to have to confess that fact eventually. And this situation had "crisis potential" written all over it. 

After watching me wander around the house for about 40 minutes, Wally finally asked what I was looking for. "I think I left my purse in the ladies room at the restaurant." I sheepishly confessed. 

"Why don't you call Mary and ask if you left it at her house?" 

"Don't be silly, I'm sure it's at the restautrant," I said assertively. "And by now now someone has picked it up and they are out buying stereo equipment with my credit cards and hacking into my online banking because all my PINS are on my phone," I added with dismay.

So Wally suggested I call the restaurant and when that came up a dead end, he sat up with me to be supportive as I called to cancel credit cards and tried to "find my phone" (the iphone app I had installed but disabled...). Finally, we decided there was nothing more to be done and headed off to bed at about 2 am. 

I was so depressed. 

To make things worse, it was Friday night on a long weekend and so I really couldn't get my life back until Tuesday. That was a few days for me to stew and worry about my stuff being gone / stolen. And a few days for me to retrace every step I took up to the point in time when I realized I didn't know where my purse was.

And as I moped and moaned about the situation all weekend, Wally would suggest giving Mary a call, "just to make sure" she hadn't seen my purse. And every time he suggested it, I reminded him just how stupid it was for him to think that my purse might be at Mary's!! 

I'm sure you can see where this is going...

After cancelling all my credit cards and changing every password and all my PINs, I began to organize my Tuesday. Go to the bank to make sure my accounts were in order. Go to Holland's first thing and order a new driver's license. Go buy a new phone (at great personal expense, given where I was in my contract). etc. etc. It was downright depressing.

Monday afternoon, I was outside doing some yard work (trying not to worry about my purse and phone). I came around the front of the house just in time to see Mary's brother heading down my driveway. "Hey, howzitgoin'?" I called out. 


"Oh, hey there," he answered. "I just left your purse inside...We had so much company this weekend; I thought it belonged to one of my sisters but everyone went home this morning and the purse was still on the kitchen counter. Funny that it should belong to you and I even know where you live!! haha. Have a nice day!"

Of course, I was SHOCKED! How could my purse have been BEAMED over to my friend's house from the ladies room restaurant 40 km away?

I was too embarassed to even go in the house to see my purse! But I was also so relieved that I mustered up my courage and headed in after a few minutes of trying to compose myself. 

Wally already had the humble pie cut and ready to serve. And I've been eating it ever since.

Just yesterday, Diana was in the phone store activating her new phone when a middle aged MOM stumbled in. "I've lost my iphone," she wailed. "I don't know what to do."

"You should probably call your girlfriend and see if it's on her kitchen counter." Diana dead panned as she left the store.

I was Scooped!!

I was driving to Calgary on July 6 and I stopped in Claresholm to buy gas at the Shell station. That's a pretty normal thing for me to do. But as I was filling up my "patty-wagon", I was suddenly aware that things were not particularly "normal" this sunny Thursday morning...


The gal next to me filling up her VW Bug was having a hard time keeping her cowboy hat on and her short, flippy skirt kept blowing up her legs as she shifted from one booted foot to the other. It was hard to hold on to her skirt, hat and pump gas at the same time. It looked plain odd.


Then I heard a clickety clack behind me as another middle aged, mini-skirted, cowboy booted woman tripped her way into the building. 


Just as I was finished gawking at her progress across the pavement a truck load of young women in short shorts, tube tops and COWBOY BOOTS pulled up across from me and piled out of the cab laughing and whooping as they called "dibs" on the toilet.

"What the heck?" and then it dawned on me...Calgary Stampede. These women had to be heading to the stampede. There was no other reason for grown women to be out in public dressed like this...unless they were headed to a hooker convention.


I immediately began to formulate my next blog post...my head was filled with ideas mostly centered around the theme of "how and when did stampede morph into "dress like a hooker week"? I was so inspired, I actually sent a text message to both Sara and Ben about my observations.


And then I got busy and the blog was put on the back burner and I got totally and completely scooped by my 20 something daughter who is even sassier than me.
check out:  http://girluntitled-pomo.blogspot.ca/.

She totally scammed my idea and posted some fantastic photos of "trampeding" which I completely endorse. 



So another strampede has come and gone and I seriously wonder if the cowboys from 100 years ago would even be able to recognize the rodeo if they dropped in on this modern outdoor spectacle. 

Thankfully, my family didn't get the memo about baring it all in the name of all that is cowboy so I have some g-rated photos to include.

Happy Birthday Calgary Stampede! ...and many more (?!?)

I've been busy...

I got home from visiting Little Logan and his parents just in time to get ready for the implementation phase of the new Electronic Medical Record ( the "EMR") at our office.

This EMR was something we'd been investigating and working on since last fall. And we (the good doctor and I) were excited to get it installed and "Go Live." Go Live is tech talk for get the computers up and runing and see how amazing and fun our work suddenly becomes.   We had a pretty good attitude about the whole process. And the representatives from WOLF assured the doctor and I that we were going to LOVE the new system. 

 Things went surprisingly well the very first day. The guys arrived on time and hooked things up. The new computers and all the new printers and scanners and fax machine were beautiful and I could hardly wait to get to work on all the shiny new equipment. It was a great day at the office! And then I remembered, we had no patients scheduled so we could get used to the new electronics. Of course, the day would go smoothly if there were no actual patients to deal with!! Silly me.

The next day (May 29, 2012) was a Tuesday and the doctor started to see patients. I was back to answering phones, booking appointments, and managing the families that the doctor takes care of. And that's when the wheels fell off the wagon!

Needless to say, NOTHING WORKED and I spent more time on the help line than I did on the front lines and by the end of that week, I was ready to pack it in. 

We'd actually been sent a used scanner/copier full of phone numbers and addresses from some oil company in Calgary. Definitely not in line with our extensive PIA....

Our data transfer from our old system to WOLF was painfully incomplete. WOLF would not recognize any rural municipalities in Alberta so my patients from Coalhurst, Milk River, Diamond City, Fort Macleod, Pincher Creek etc. etc. etc. simply did not exist. Who knew that the only viable places to live in western Canada were Vancouver and Hanna?!? 

The people setting up our system entered the wrong billing codes for psychiatry into the system so everything I submitted for billing had the potential of being rejected. And that didn't even really matter because they flat out forgot to connect our billing system to Alberta Health Care!!!  

I could go on but it's not worth the painful memories. The long and the short of it is that WOLF failed spectacularly and FIVE WEEKS LATER when we still hadn't been paid and the tech guys were not even close to getting to the bottom of the whole mess, I had a real life epiphany!

The point of this post is to illustrate just how similar highly specialized surgeons and computer tech geeks can be in real life applications.

If you recall, my experience with the "team" of pediatric surgeons at Legacy Emmanuel Children's Hospital was so frustratingly comical I was forced to post the foolishness. Well folks, here we go again....

When a third party observer finally discovered what the problem was with our brand spanking new, top of the line EMR, and alerted the talking heads at WOLF head quarters, the tech guy on the other end of the phone had the audacity to say to me:

 "Now aren't you glad I discovered this problem early enough 

in the process to clear it right up and get you on your way?" 

Sorry Dude - six weeks with no pay checks is not EARLY and don't you dare try to tell me YOU figured this out! 

That's what I thought. 

Thankfully, I was speaking with him on the phone so he couldn't see me roll my eyes and tear at my hair as I tried to keep my head from exploding!

What I said was, "thanks for the help..."

Things are going a little smoother at the office. The new EMR is becoming a little more user friendly as I teach it what it needs to know. 

 Now I only have to worry about the AHC computers that crashed last week as a result of the "SHAW incident." But that's another story...and tomorrow is Monday and I'm looking forward to a better week.

adventures in transportation

I was visiting in Portland, OR again this past week.

I am always fascinated with what I see when I'm there.

I am especially impressed with the way people travel.

It's all about recycling, cycling and 

being organic and healthy and energy efficient.

When I'm in Portland, my inner "tree hugger" feels right at home.

I feel like I'm right where I should be.

BUT Alberta is my home and there is no denying that there is definitely a pattern to transportation choices in Alberta. I was waiting curbside at YYC when I realized that 

"home is where the trucks are".

Every ride that pulled up was big and powerful.

Spacious and luxurious.

And I am confident most of the vehicles could drive up the side of a high rise.

Yup there's something about a powerful truck. I haven't figured out just what exactly but I know I'm home when I see pick ups for miles and miles. And there's comfort in being home.