I am not an athlete...revisited

A couple of years ago Wally bought a book called, Younger Next Year. It's a book written by an old dude and his younger doctor on how to age gracefully. Basically, the book says that as we age we MUST keep moving or our bodies simply decline before our time. Thus began Wally's quest for movement.

He was so inspired by the book that he insisted I join him in his quest and bought me the PINK version; Younger Next Year for Women.

It's been all fun and games since then as Wally and I try our hands at different kinds of activities. I've enjoyed my treadmill and even had not bad luck with the bowflex and yoga classes. But I have come to realize that even though my husband is very athletic, and I have given birth to five athletic children who in turn, have married athletes; I simply CANNOT keep up -  or at the very least "UPRIGHT".

You will recall my adventures with winter sports over the last 18 months or so. First the nasty fall on the cross country skis. Then came falling off the trail, and subsequently halfway down the mountainside, while snow shoeing in the pristine wilderness of  Kananaskis country. I lived to laugh and tell the story but it was less funny in the moment.

Two springs ago Wally and I bought kayaks. Of course we bought sturdy, flat bottomed, lake kayaks to enjoy some stress free paddling on Emerald Bay in Wateron Lakes National Park. That went really well until I tipped my boat just below the Prince of Wales Hotel as I was trying to get back in. Cold, wet but undeterred, I commited to continue to TRY to keep up with Wally.

I have done the best I can. I walk on my treadmill regularly and I try to keep active during the day at work; taking the stairs and strolling downtown at lunchtime. 

When Wally wanted to try cross-trail bikes, I joined in. I was sized and set up on a beautiful SPECIALIZED (that's the brand name) cross trail bike designed for light road biking and the occasional rougher trail / terrain. 

I really like riding my bike. It's been fun to go on a bike ride after work and I even use it to go get the mail or buy food at the grocery store up town. I can be seen peddaling around town late at night with my nieces to use up extra energy.

So when Wally suggested we try something a little more challenging, I was up for it! After all, I can ride a bike. I couldn't see any problems with going bike riding.

I'm sure you know where this is going. 

We loaded up the bikes on the back of Patty the Pathfinder and headed to Waterton. It was a beautiful sunny day and the trail we'd decided to try was one I am familiar with. The "Snow Shoe trail" up in the Red Rock Canyon is a trail I've hiked a few times. Everytime I have hiked it, I always stepped aside for those folks riding by on their bikes. It's not steep, it is well used and I knew I could manage the trip. And Wally assured me that we could ride faster than any bear could run. (I'm a little afraid of being eaten by a bear but I manage)

The ride was really great. I was enjoying the wilderness and my skills were complemented by my trail appropriate bike. I thought to myself, "This is fun and I can even keep up with Wally."

I actually sped past him once on a little climb, feeling very athletic indeed.

We stopped for a drink and a granola bar about 5 km in and I reported that I was really enjoying myself. I felt good and I was glad we'd chosen to come out today. Shoud we carry on? or turn back? 

We decided to go all the way in, which is about 8 km. I knew we could and jumped on my bike entusiastically. I was so rocking that whole "younger next year" theory. "I am old, active and strong." I thought to myself as I peddled on with glee.

As we came around the next bend I saw another dry creek bed. We had peddled through three already and each time I had felt a little unstable going over the rocks. I'd made it thus far unscathed but determined that I was getting a little tired and maybe it would be smart to walk my bike through the rocks.

I slowed down and watched Wally peddle through and then decided I really would get off and walk...no point in taking unnecessary risks at my age.

I remember stopping my bike at about the same time I started to call out to Wally, "I'm going to walk through..." Then my whole world simply tipped right upside down!!

I felt my left arm, then my hip and finally my head hit the ground. I actually heard my helmet  "klunk" and then I just laid there.

"What the heck happened?!" was the only thought that came to mind. I hadn't even been  peddling and now I was flat on my back in the middle of a pile of rocks and YES; there was PAIN associated with this.

So I can now add "falling while cycling" to my repertoire of athetic mishaps.

this is the picture i took of wally

after i got my camera out from underneath 

me and my bike. (the camera was in my 

backpack which ended up on the bottom

of the pile) i wanted to make sure it still worked

this is me...upright again and still smiling;

but that is kind of a wincing smile because it 

REALLY hurt to fall in slow motion on a

pile of rocks!

It's a new day. The throbbing pain in my left arm has almost subsided. My hip and back are slowly working back into alignment and the pain in my neck will go away eventualy. The only thing that really bites about the whole story is that I don't bruise all that readily so in spite of the pain and the tenderness, I really don't have much physical eveidence to document my misadventures.

And I will "gear up and carry on". 

If I can't be "younger next year" I can at least provide consistent, predictable entertainment for my family and  friends. Have a happy day!

...and then there was mary kay

So I've been "friends on" with Christian and the girls for quite some time. There is no doubt about the quality of the dior line of mascara. But the price still ticks me off.

Earlier this summer, shortly after I used the food money for mascara, and right before another trip to Portland, my friend called and asked if I wanted to buy any Mary Kay. Now I was in a previous relatioship with Mary because my daughter was once a rep and I loved the cosmetics. I'd just gotten away from it when Diana no longer sold it.

( And remember that I'm not much into make up...haha )

So I ordered some things that I usually get and then I went out on a limb and decided to try some items that my friend suggested.

And it's so GOOD! I'm all over the new mascara and happier than ever with my wimpy lashes. 

I haven't abandoned Christian entirely but my new friend Mary leaves me a little bit of cash to buy food. It's a tough call but I'm prepared to make it. We'll just have to see how long these boots last...

Poor man's boots-revisited...

A few years ago my fashion conscious twenty something daughter introduced me to Christian Dior and his fantastic mascara. "Diorshow" had the potential to change my life. As an aging mom with thin hair and even thinner lashes "Diorshow" was nothing short of a miracle.

And even though it is horribly expensive, I rationalized that I "was worth it". (cue the Revlon commercial)  I even told my friends about it. I've never been one for make up but this mascara was something I used every day - and I loved it enough to buy it again and again as the tubes went dry.

Then my friend Christian invented something even BETTER! Diorshow Iconic - which was   better and lasted longer and made my lashes look like something out of a magazine. And even though it was a little more money, I persisted in purchasing the expensive mascara. After all, I have a good job, my kids are grown and I need to look good. So the ladies at the cosmetic counter got to know me better and knew if I stopped by I meant business and they always like someone who comes to buy. It was a beautiful relationship.

I maintained close contact with Christian and his girls over the years and my lashes loved the attention. Deep down I struggled with the cost but rationalized that great looking lashes really are "priceless". (cue the mastercard commercial)

Last spring I was perusing the newest issue of People one afternoon in the offce and I saw the most beautiful lashes ever!!! in an ad for L'oreal mascara. As soon as I saw those lashes, I knew I NEEDED that mascara. Besides, I told myself, it really is silly to pay a small fortune for something I wash off every night. Surely this new (less expensive) mascara would do the trick.

I asked around. No one really knew the new mascara but the ad was so gorgeous...I was fixated on finding the mascara. And then I found it one afternoon in the cosmetics section at Shopper's Drug Mart. Even the tube looked luxurious and I was excited to have the most beautiful lashes on the planet. 

Imagine my glee when I noticed the price - about one eighth the price of my pricey Diorshow and, if the ad was true, 100% more lashtastic than that other stuff. I also thought I was very smart to spend less on better mascara and then I would have money left over for other things. It was a plan. I bought the mascara and headed home to try it.

As I was driving, I thought of Dylan, my son-in-law the economist. He's a smart guy and enjoys sharing various economic theory with me. And as I drove, my excitement over my new purchase diminshed steadily as I recalled the economic theory entitled Poor Man's Boots.

Basically, Poor Man's Boots explains how the poor man will always end up paying more for boots. He will buy 4-5 pairs of $50 boots over the same period of time that the rich man will spend only $185 for one pair of good boots that may even last longer than all 5 pairs of the poor man's boots. In the long run, it makes more economic good sense to buy the better quality product in the first place because it really ends up costing less money. Plus, you get a better product.

By the time I got home, I was torn. Should I just take the package back unopened and get my money back? Was it worth the risk? Would it really be as good as the Dior mascara if it was so inexpensive? After a seven minute fight with myself, I dug out the People magazine and looked at the ad again. The lashes were still amazing and would L'oreal really spend that much on advertising a deficient product? I was going to give it a go... 

As I unwrapped the package, my heart sank. The tube was light and cheap feeling. It took all I had to muster up the enthusiasm to give it a try. I prepped my lashes and pulled out the brush. It was clumpy and gross. "How can this be happening?!?" my inner smart, confident self screamed. "I know better than to get sucked in by a great ad. I'm old with lot's of life experience and I know the theory of Poor Man's Boots." 

I can't express my disappointment. I tried the mascara over the next couple of days. It was AWFUL. I was so embarrassed for making such an obvious mistake, I couldn't even share my disappointment with anyone.

I headed back to my friends at the cosmetic counter. I plunked down a week's worth of grocery money for the Diorshow AND the Iconic, just to cover all my bases and set off to the ladies room to apply my tried and true expensive mascara.