making peace with my OCD (part 1)

Yesterday I drove to Chatters to buy a bottle of hair conditioner. Now, for most of you that may not seem like a significant event but for me it was HUGE!! and here's why; "my shampoo bottle wasn't empty yet."

I've never been able to make myself get just one bottle of either shampoo or conditioner. I like everything to match and I need everything to be even. Running out of shampoo before the conditioner bottle was empty or having no conditioner but a little bit of shampoo has always been traumatic for me. I've spent many hours of my adult life adding water to make the conditioner go further or transferring remaining shampoo to smaller, travel size bottles so I could go get a "matched set" of shampoo and conditioner.

But the other morning as I was slowly panicking in the shower when I realized it would be a couple of weeks before I was out of shampoo, I had a thought. "Lorri," I said to myself (in the best grown-up voice I could imagine) "This is absolutely ridiculous! There is no way you have enough time or energy to even out these two bottles (and get to work on time)...plus, every time you dilute the conditioner, it really doesn't work as well. It's time to get ahold of yourself. Throw away that EMPTY bottle and go buy a new supply."

So I sucked up all the courage I could manage that early in the morning, squeezed the absolute last drop of conditioner out of the bottle, and tossed it out of the shower, in the general direction of the trash can! 

It was a moment of liberation (about 30 years in the making) as I accepted that it was OK to just toss that empty bottle and carry on...

So yesterday I drove to Chatters and bought a SINGLE litre! (Deep breathing exercises all the way there and back.)

(one-one liter bottle of hair conditioner)

It was a little tough this morning. 

But I managed to complete my whole hair routine without hyperventilating OR scrounging up some smaller matching bottles in which to pour equal amounts of shampoo and conditioner to set in the shower. (Don't laugh...I have a cupboard full of empty "same size" bottles that I have used over the years to insure I had equal amounts of shampoo and conditioner within my grasp.)

And tomorrow's another day! I'm so excited!! This was such a big step; complete freedom is just a few more containers away. (Maybe I'll tackle the toothpaste tubes in the not too distant future.)