this mommy is a dummy!

I was texting my kids before many of my lady friends had cell phones. I even know how to use T-9. (i think that's what it was called). I am one of those women who says regularly, " How did I ever manage to raise those first two kids without a cell phone?"

Since my first cell phone and subsequent texting lessons, I have never looked back! I love the instant communication any time of the day or night that is offered by text messaging. I love being able to tell my kids I love them whenever I think of it and if I see something funny or hear some great news I can MASS TEXT the whole gang of them! It's a miracle of modern technology; one more way for mothers to mother.

I carried a cute, red Blackberry for years and never worried about the cost of texting. I had a plan that was grandfathered from 1998 that had unlimited texting (along with per second billing and free long distance-basically the most awesome plan ever!) I have kept in touch with my family when I travel without ever a worry about "roaming charges". I never really understood the dreaded ROAMING having never really experienced it first hand.

All that changed when I got my super awesome amazing i-phone 4! Now don't get me wrong, I

my i-phone. It does things a phone should never really be able to do (which is SUPER AWESOME!!) BUT to be quite honest it took me a while to figure out the texting. I have big chunky fingers and the touch screen is hard to use. The spell checker changes words sometimes like "clothes" to "clever" but I've been able to manage the little inconveniences because the phone is so great.

However, when I got my i-phone I had to change plans-my old plan from 1998 would not transfer to the new technology so I had to buy a new plan that had "data" (whatever the heck that is...). So I bought data and carried on. The lady at the store assured me that I would still be able to text as much as I wanted. What she didn't tell me was that when I travel, it probably wouldn't be the same as my old phone plan.

I got my phone bill last week. It had all the charges for the last month including a "little extra" from my recent trip to Hawaii.

After speaking with a number of people about my situation (I never told anyone it was actually ME that made this dumb mistake) I understand the thing about "roaming data" charges at a very rudimentary, basic level.

Basically, it means that all those goofy texts (AND PHOTOS) that I sent to my five children (and their spouses) over 10 days in Honolulu added up to about the same amount of $$$ I have in my sock drawer that I was saving for a special prize for myself.

Another lesson learned.

I guess there's always next summer to get the Margaritaville D1000. (sigh)

Advice from Elder Busche

...i really wanted my blog to be mostly fun and entertaining but sometimes you come across something that just begs to be shared! i remember being at a meeting in edmonton at least 100 years ago when elder busche was the visiting general authority. even then, i was particularly impressed with his humility and basic common sense understanding of the gospel. this short 6 minute video is just exactly what each one of us needs to hear every now and again. make it your sunday night movie or your fhe lesson this week. and if you can figure out how to load it on your i-pod; do it! ENJOY

PS: i couldn't help but think of the "wear sunscreen" advice that was popular a few years ago when i saw this video BUT this one is even better! have fun and PAY ATTENTION

love from "the mom"

adventures in dishwashing...

Dishes have never been that big a deal for me. You either do them or you don't. I KNOW there are women out there who can't sleep at night if there are dirty dishes in the house but NOT ME! I sleep just fine knowing those pesky little dishes will still be there when I finally get around to dealing with them.

My home was designed with a fatal flaw in that anyone who comes to the front door can see my kitchen counter so usually when the pile becomes high and unsightly, (which is basically after any meal or baking/cooking project) I buckle down and get the dishes done. I just do them and don't worry about it. It's never a HUGE job and the kitchen looks so much better when it's all tidied up.

So even though I can sleep with dirty dishes in the house, I really do try to keep them cleaned up and under control. You never know when the Fed-ex guy or the alarm system dude will be at my front door and Heaven forbid that they should see my dirty dishes.

I've noticed, though, that my married kids don't like doing dishes. They mostly complain about the dishes piling up. As full time students, there is apparently no time for dishes. "Seriously kids, there are only two of you and if you just wash the dishes as soon as you use them, it takes all of 30 seconds to have everything tidied up and put away!" But they protest- "it takes too long, we're too busy- we've got to study, practice, read, write" and so on and so on and so on.

When Angela and Dylan were first married, Angela used the grocery money to buy a counter top dishwasher! much to my surprise...

Nobody likes doing dishes!

But I didn't realize how much they didn't like doing dishes until Sara and Jordan were over for Sunday dinner last week. In the middle of dinner Sara exclaimed to Jordan," Oh brother, did you remember to take the dishes out of the dishwasher?" He calmly replied that he had and not to worry. They were all put away.

I recalled Angela and Dylan's little dorky dishwasher and said incredulously, "You guys didn't BUY a dishwasher, did you?"

"Oh no," was Jordan's matter-of-fact reply. "The landlord is out of town so we took our dishes upstairs and washed them in the dishwasher."

I couldn't believe it!! When I thought about how much energy would be expended with packing up the dishes and carrying them up to the dishwasher and then going and getting them and taking them back downstairs to put away....REALLY, you may as well just do the dishes!!

Post Script: True confessions and credit-the before and after photos of my kitchen featured in this blog were actually taken this morning (before I left for work: I couldn't believe I was leaving the kitchen in such a mess) and this afternoon (when I got home from work: I discovered that Sara had done the dishes and tidied up the kitchen). "How do you let things get so outa control, Mom? I can't believe you left this place in such a mess!"

a funny thing happened the other day....

I don't get out much. I go to work. I go to church and I go to COSTCO. Some might say that's not much of a life but here's the thing; as I scurry about in my busy little life, I notice some of the funniest things in the oddest places.

Last week I went to Costco after work. It was a busy day at the big box and I had to park a little farther out than usual. But it was a sunny day and I was up for the trek to the front doors.

As I was walking to the front doors I saw two couples leaving the store and making their way towards me, each man pushing a very full cart accompanied by an animated, adorable wife; the best accesory any guy could ever want for a trip to the big box. The couples manouvered their cargo to practically matching SUV's parked across from each other.

They proceeded to unload the carts into the back of the vehicles almost in perfect unison. When the last piece of merchandise was neatly stowed in the bowels of the vehicles both back gates slammed in unison and all 4 adults pushed the empty carts to the cart corral-together. It was so cute watching this whole operation. It was almost like a little choreographed dance and I was throughly entertained. But the best part of the whole show was still to come.

I was now approaching the spot where these two vehicles were parked tail to tail. Four people walked backed to the two SUV's. They split off into two groups of two and four doors opened together as four individuals climbed in to the two vehicles opposite each other. Two engines sprang to life at precisely the same moment and two transmissions were thrown into reverse in unison.

It was almost like watching a movie. The two SUV's backed SMACK into each other-right there in the Costco parking lot! Four doors flew open, four adults vaulted to the back of the two vehicles that were now bumper to bumper. They all looked so surprised! Each couple just stared at the situation with a general sense of "what the heck?!?" and I was thoroughly entertained for another day.

a tale of two Sara's...

These are my kids:

Dylan and Angela, Nathan and Katie, Ben and Sara, Grayson and Diana, Sara and Jordan.

We've had a lot of fun getting used to two Sara's in the family.

Last spring Jordan decided he wanted to marry Sara Baines. Jordan's sisters were pleased and excited to have another Sara in the mix. Then one day in the midst of all the excitement Wally exclaimed, "Which Sara do you mean? There are 'two many' Sara's! It's so confusing." Thus began our year of specifying: Sara Ellan vs Sara Wynne, Sara (Jordan's wife) vs Sara (Jordan's sister)

This is Sara (Jordan's wife)

Sara (Jordan's wife) had a tough go of it. Becoming Sara Smart was a bit of a stretch for this reserved, quiet Sara. She would introduce herself as Sara Smart and people would look at her and say, "No you're not. I KNOW Sara Smart and you are not her...." But she took it all in stride and when her sister-in-law (the original Sara Smart) married Ben Toone, we all breathed a sigh of relief. Now we could have a Sara Smart (the new one) and a Sara Toone (the newly improved original Sara Smart).

This is Sara Toone (the original Sara Smart)

Last week when I was out of town, Sara Toone called me to report that she'd picked up the mail and...

"I got my tax return in the mail today! Yay!" she exclaimed.

"Well, get that in the bank so you can go shopping," I advised.

Oops!!

You guessed it. When the new Sara Smart came to pick up her mail, her tax return was mysteriously missing and Sara Toone had a new pair of shoes.

my name is lorri and i'm a micromanager

I like making sure everything in my little world is running along tickety-boo. It's always been important for me to check and double check that all the i's be dotted and t's crossed-just so. In some ways, it's a good thing; bills get paid on time, reservations are made with precision, we never show up at the border when it's closed, contracts are signed and initialled in all the right spots, and dentist, doctor and optomitrist appointments are made right on schedule. I am the master of making phone calls and double checking EVERYTHING!

When our family was growing up I had a huge color coded calendar on the wall with everyone's schedule and activities neatly recorded. My favorite time of the week was our family "Calendaring Meeting" held every Sunday night before bed. Knowing everybody's business is my thing...and I'm pretty good at taking care of things!

My husband says I've ruined my children (who are now all adults) because I managed everything so well for so long, they started to depend on me to take care of their "stuff".

In my defense, I did send each child out into the world with their very own portable file holder containing all the important papers regarding banking, credit cards, cell phones, etc. I made sure they each had a birth certificate, SIN card, health care card, and all those other little important bits you need to make your way through life.

I have a secure PIN keeper on my I-phone that I keeps all the important numbers and information that I need...and all the numbers that each family member might need at some point in life. I've just not been able to let go of their personal information. What if something happened and they needed a number and couldn't find it? I have it on my PIN keeper! and I could SAVE THE DAY!

For the last few years as my nest has emptied, I have been validated by the occasional call from my grown up kids. "Hey Mom, could you tell me my ED ID number? I need it to apply for a scholarship." "Hey Mom, I'm at the doctor's and I don't have my health care number. Could you text it to me?" "Hi Mom, I'm applying for a job and I need my SIN...have you got it with you?" I've also been the go-to girl for bank accounts and credit cards, with all those nasty little PIN numbers for every account, neatly stowed in my secure PIN keeper. "Hey Mom, I'm at the store and I forget the PIN for my new chip card. Have you got it?" Hi Mom, what's the PIN for that savings account I never use?"

Last week while I was "on vacation" I learned that I may have, indeed, ruined my children.

Three mornings in a row, my trusty I-phone pinged in my ear between 4:30 and 5am with a frantic message from one kid or another. "Health care number, STAT!" "Mom I can't sign my contract for summer employment without my SIN number-HELP!" "Do you know the account number for my bank back in Alberta?"

Groggy and disoriented I replied, " Do you know that it's only 5 am in Hawaii? It's still DARK outside! Don't you have that information somewhere?"

Each time the response went something like this: "Sure I could find it, Mom, if I looked for it-but I knew you would have it so I just thought I'd call. How's your holiday?"

I decided to turn my phone off and vacation properly for the remianing 5 or 6 days. The lesson was finally driven home on my second to last day at the beach when I got a mid day text from my sister back home.

"Please come home. Your kids keep phoning me

when you don't answer their calls.

I am tired of your vacation.

Please... Come... Home..."

adventures in dialing....

I'm not very good with numbers. They just don't stick in my head. They get all mixed up when ever I try to shoot them out of my brain on to paper or the computer keys OR the phone!! Actually phone numbers are the worst for me. I have never memorized a phone number in my life. I will carefully look the number up, write it down precisely, and then check three times as I dial to make sure I've dialed correctly. It's something I've trained mysef to do. After many years, I rarely make a mistake.

I work in an office and I am on the phone all day. That's what I do! I have awesome phone communication skills; "a very pleasant telephone manner". It's just getting connected that is a struggle for me.

I also keep my handy dandy i-phone right by my computer so that I can keep in touch with my family. I will often check text messages and even answer it when it rings during the day. I love my i-phone!

So the other day as I was winding down at work, I remembered that I needed to call Katie to give her a message. I picked up the office handset and thought for a moment and realized I could dial her number without looking it up because I was sure I KNEW IT OFF BY HEART!

As I was waiting for Katie to pick up, my cellphone rang. I thought to myself; "I can quickly tell whoever is on the cell I'll call right back and then I'll just give Katie the message and I'll be good to go."

So I put the cell to my right ear and kept the office handset in my left ear and proceeded to multi-task like a genius! "Hello?" I spoke into the cell. "Hello?" echoed in my office handset.

O brother- both phones were answered at the same time! "Hello?" I spoke clearly into the i-phone just in case whoever was calling hadn't heard. "Hello?"echoed right back at me.

"What the HECK?!" was my frantic thought. "What's going on with these STUPID phones??!!"

Then I looked at the caller ID on the i-phone and my old brain started to calculate what was going on...

You guessed it! I had inadvertently dialed my own number! I was talking to myself! baha

I hung up on myself; carefully looked up Katie's number and dialed from the handset.

Message delivered. Lesson learned.